A girl who loves chocolates, tomyam, spaghetti, shopping, travelling, photography, reading
Talks less but thinks more, or maybe more than you ever imagined....

thegirlnextDOOR

5 years before:
I've completed SPM. I was at crossroads. I sobbed. I was down. Truly conquered by decision making process. I "used to" have my own goals in life. That is to be a designer, either fashion or graphic. Arts and design have both become an aim in my secondary life. They used to be the motivation for me to complete my secondary school. And, yes, I can choose to go my own way. (Be a designer). To do things according to my interests.

NO. That was not like that. Which parents would being 100% supportive for this kind of decision? I can say, only some of them. By all means, they want their children to pursue education that could secure a better future. Yes, education is essential. The higher, the better.

So, STPM became my final choice. And, there I went to SMKTHO. I was not disappointed. Because I should also respect their wish of guiding me to making wise choice. I dare not be blameful. Well, there ended STPM. Truly, I had tried my very best then. Because, the sixth form marked the first important stage in my life. To change, I must work hard.

And I DID it. I did my parents proud. I was satisfied. I was filled with appreciation but also with tiny regrets. (for not pursuing my interest in design).

3 years before:

So excited. Life's finally reaching to another peak phase in life. Going to enter University. Going to be a university student. It can be quite thrilling during the campus life. I've earned a lot. Not academically but through various personal life lessons which even books cant have such life philosophies.

Learnt about growing up. The changes of being dependent at home to being not relying too much on parents. Staying in the hostel. No personal transport. Walking to a distance of 300-metres away to attend classes at the faculty. Regardless sunny or rainy days. Walking and climbing up 4th floor to my room has become a norm.

Hostel life has become so precious to me. With friends of all backgrounds staying together, united as one part of the hostel - ASTARIANS (college's name is ASTAR- Asrama Tunku Abdul Rahman). Hostel is just like my home.

Now:
I have such strong feeling of going back to the past. Now, 3 years of study has ended. I still could not believe such beautiful memories will vanish physically from my life.

Being in a transition between graduation and worklife OR pursuing Master programme is the toughest decision I've ever met. Yes, doing Masters is always better than working. That's how adults always educate us to pursue higher education level to secure a better job and guaranteed salary. I do heed their advice. I agree with it, too.

But when we are making choices, we often make comparison between the pros of the 2 things. Of course we want to make a wise decision which is regarding our future. Some people said, working also can upgrade us. In the way that we develop interpersonal skill by experiences of working together with colleagues. Working experiences also guide us to become a mature person. That is how it often guide us to become a potential and capable employee as time nurture us.

This is all between making choices. Whether that will be filled with regrets or satisfaction. I dare not say I am truly satisfied with who I am today. Because, we cannot judge life. But I am happy with who and what I am today.
I've lost something precious to me but I've also gained another at the same time.
We can never have both.

That is life. There's no so-called perfect life.